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  • plusthedog

And then, everyone forgets you just had a baby...

The Boy is nearly 4 months old.  He has his own little pattern of behaviour that is not so much a routine but is vaguely predictable at least. He loves to roll over but isn't sure what to do once he has. He smiles a lot, and even laughs sometimes. He has grown out of his 0-3 months clothes and is into 3-6, mostly. He's great, but, while he is no longer a 'newborn,' he is still a very little baby. 

When I meet people, they have stopped asking how old he is or how I am feeling. They have stopped remarking on how I 'seem to be copeing.' They just assume everything is fine, they somehow seem to think that by now I should have the hang of this.

I remember this from last time round. I found the toughest period of time from about 4 months to about 9 months. Everyone thinks you have it sussed. That you have a routine. They forget you haven't slept a full night in months (4-month olds usually still wake in the night, this goes on for some time...& the third trimester is not the friend of sleep...) People forget that you are still  'eating for two' as you are often providing nourishment for the baby at this point. You are still terrified of sex, not that you can do that anyway as the baby is still sleeping in your room, and the toddler is usually up by 6am. Frankly, a big poo is a little scary still and you never have time to shave your legs, or anything else for that matter. Your skin is still suffering from hormone craziness, you never have time for make up so you often look as tired as you feel, and your hair is coming out in clumps (I mean, like fist-fulls. I had a bauld patch last time!) 

Then there's the mummy-bod. Arms like rocks from constantly lifting babies and toddlers and prams and dubble buggies and car seats, but tummy like a water-bed, all squishy and too big. And covered in angry stretch marks. Oh, but don't try to do any exercise because if you walk faster then 'brisk' you run the risk of weeing yourself a bit. Zumba is out of the question. 

Then there is baby-brain. I have read articles stating that there is no scientific evidence to prove the existence of 'baby-brain' but every medical professional I have discussed it with can cite examples and will agree with it's existence. I guess with sleep deprivation and all those hormones flying around there is bound to be some give somewhere. Plus, my brain is so full of routines and schedules and who-needs-to-eat-next and when's nap time etc there is no space for anything else. I have left the house without shoes on more then once (both children had shoes on), I have driven a full hour and a half to the wrong town to meet a friend for lunch (didn't realise until I had paid to park & called to find out where she was!) I have dropped my phone down the loo twice (haven't done that since university!) Honestly, it's a miracle we all make it through the day sometimes. Baby brain is very real for me, and I fear going back to work because of it. No one needs an employee who's brain is mush. 

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't swap my children for the world, but I am looking forward to my body setting down a bit. It may sound selfish but, occasionally I wish people remembered that it is still hard work at 4, 5, 6, 7 months. I reckon last time it took about a year before I got into a grove I was more familiar with, and even then, there are still moments...


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