Good Bedtime Vs The Other Sort of Bedtime
I am super mum!
I should put that into context.
If you read my post from Tuesday you will know about how Tuesday kicked my ass. It didn't get any better. At about 5.30pm the husband announced that he wasn't going to make it home in time for bedtime. Bedtime for the toddler is usually his job for two reasons, one; it gives him time with The Girl which he hasn't had being at work all day, and two; because at anytime between 5pm and 8pm I have a cluster-feeding infant attached to my breast. If he is not feeding at this time he is crying, and if he is crying then The Girl won't go to sleep. So the husband does bedtime and I deal with The Boy.
Tuesday night he was not going to be there. I was on my own. Let's just say it didn't go well. Everyone cried at some point. The Girl wouldn't sleep, I ended up feeding The Boy sat in her room as she stood in her cot and cryed at me. Full on snot-dribbling sobs. She hadn't napped and was shattered but something wasn't right for her. Not once did she mention 'daddy,' so she hadn't figured out what was different, but something, and while I stuck to the prescribed routine, it didn't go well.
Never the less, The Girl was asleep before the husband got home but I was wrecked. And I hated myself for losing my rag with her in the process. It wasn't her fault, she was just tired and little and the routine wasn't 'normal'.
Yeaterday was different again. The husband told me he wasn't going to make it home in time for bedtime and, after Tuesday, I felt a rising panic when he said it. So I gave myself time. We went up early, both children had a bath. We did one thing at a time. I talked myself through it, out loud, like a crazy person; "put this away, this goes in the wash, put the toddler in the bath, wash the baby, dress the baby..." and so it went on. There were limited tears. Even the infant was calm. The dog licked the bath and for once, the toddler didn't join in.
So what was the difference? I didn't have much more warning, The Girl had been at nursery all day so she hadn't slept (we don't nap at nursery). The Boy still wanted feeding on and off.
I'm not sure.
I gave myself more time. I gave them both a bath which helped (I use lavander oil in the bath, not sure if it actually helps but I think it does so I keep using it!) The bath itself certainly helps chill everyone out a bit, even if the infant doesn't love it. I talked, out loud, about what I was doing. For me more then them. Who cares if I sound crazy, they won't remember when they are 25, and the dog never tells.
So why am I supermum? Well, of course I'm not, but compared to Tuesday, when bedtime a horrid experience for all of us, last night was a positive experience, and I feel so much more posative overall for it.
It's whatever helps, right?! Despite the crazy.