By 9.30am today I had both children dressed, fed, cleaned up and ready for the day. For once we weren’t going anywhere, but we were ready. As I wondered back into the kitchen to start the washing up, having installed both safely in front of CBeebies, I thaught to myself ‘I’m hungry, I should have a snack.’ Looking in the cupboards and fridge to decide what I wanted it occurred to me why I was hungry. I had forgotten to have breakfast myself.
I don’t think it’s a big stretch to suggest that I am not the only one who does this. On Monday night I walked downstairs from settleing The Boy and said to the husband ‘I need to eat, like, soon.’ He wanted to do one little thing first, ‘why do you need to eat so soon? What did you have for lunch?’
Nothing.
I had nothing for lunch. I forgot. In between breakfast and lunch and tea and bottles and breastfeeds and snacks and naps I forgot to feed myself.
You would think that this would make me super-slim, pre-baby jeans and all that...(not that they were that small to start with), but no, of course that is not how this works. I forget, on a regular basis, to feed myself, but rest assured that when I do remember and have time to do so, I make up for it. One morning this week I ate a three day old donut for breakfast. I knew I wasn’t going to get breakfast properly and wasn’t sure when lunch would be. It was fast and did a job but it’s not a long term solution. Sometimes I just need something calorie-dense that I can just shove in my face to get me through a bit longer. Sometimes this replaces lunch, or breakfast. Always by accident but more often then I would like.
Everyone else in our household gets fed. Usually pretty well, balanced food, (well, it is offered at least!) often hand-made from scratch etc etc etc...The children, the husband, The Dog (not that she’d let me forget to feed her), but somehow, feeding myself slips my mind, and I end up shoving something unhealthy into my face just to stop the inevitable ‘hanger’ appearing.
On that note, ‘had’ should also be a thing. Sad because you’re hungry, I am pretty sure that happens as well as the ‘hangry’ thing.
Anyway, I often just eat toddler leftovers, and then trick myself into thinking I have eaten. Sometimes I do manage to feed myself really well, and I wonder why it’s so hard other days. Somehow it is though. For no real reason that I can figure out, some days I manage to eat just fine, whereas other days it seems unlikely that I will get to pee let alone have lunch.
I recently had a ‘KIT’ day at work (keeping in touch day). My job is pretty full-on and can often lead to me eating on-the-hop or while working or whatever, but somehow I managed to eat better and more successfuly then a day at home next to the kitchen!
Why is this?
It’s most likely due to routine-there is a set ‘break’ and ‘lunch’ time at work, so even if I am busy the title reminds me what I should be doing. I planned ahead, which I should probably do every day but I just don’t have the motivation. Plus, when I do go back to work, will I have the motivation to plan ahead so well every day? Fundamentally, however, while I was at work I just didn’t have anyone else to look after. They were all being looked after by other, responsible people who had probably had a decent breakfast. This ment I didn’t forget about me, and other adults around me reminded me, without knowing it, what I should be doing, I.e. eating a proper lunch at lunchtime.
I have a relatively active lifestyle, I walk the dog every day, I try to do Parkrun (albeit slowly) when I can, we try to do a decent family walk most weekends, so I really need to sort the eating out to go along with it. I am sure it would help to level out m emotions and for sure it would help me lose a bit of weight (not that this is a priority). Now the last of the Christmas cheese is gone I am making every effort to remember to eat, and once I have mastered that, I will make sure what I am eating is good for me!