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  • plusthedog

Toddlers, terrible twos and tantrums.

This Girl will drive me crazy. 

Honestly, I love her to bits, she is bright and funny and good-natured, but goodness she can be challanging. She may well drive me to drink. Or at least a bit mad. 

Today is a classic example of what I mean. She’s not BAD but she really pushed my buttons this morning... 

...for some reason, Daddy was on the late train to work today, so he got The Girl up. I fed The Boy and got him up, and while The Husband walked The Dog I got them washed and teeth brushed and downstairs for breakfast. Daddy was downstairs when we got there, just in time to say goodbye as he headed off to work, more morning contact then they usually get.

Maybe that’s why. Maybe not. 

Breakfast went surprisingly well given the mood The Girl was in. She actually ate something, and when we were all finished I cleaned her up and got her down. It’s nursery today, I remind her, no, not swimming, not TV and nap time, nursery, let’s get your hair done. 

’No! play!’

Ah good. Here we go. 

She won’t sit on the sofa to have her hair done so she stands, but she can’t stand still, so she wiggles about and I try to hair-dress a small excited puppy. 

‘How do you want your hair, plaits or pigtales?’ Why oh why did I give her the choice? What was I thinking? 

’Plaits. No, pigtails, plaits, pigtails.’

’Pigtails, you sure?’ 

’No plaits...’  

I do pigtails. Tomorrow I won’t bother asking.

’Right, shoes on please!’ 

’Hide!’ 

Oh-no. She runs to hide behind a curtain. I try another method... 

’...ok, we will go without you.’ 

’Hide’ 

I walk away from her.  

‘Mummy! MUMMY! HIDE!’ 

I go and get her,  

‘Shoes on please.’ 

’No! Nooooooo.’ 

She goes stiff as I try to sit her on the sofa to put her shoes on. This girl can plank! Verticaly!

Next she goes limp, flopping about all over the place, like a string puppet with no operator.  

I go to put her shoes on for her, a job she is capable of doing but we are running late and she is clearly not planning on doing it today.  

She bicycle’s her legs at high speed, I am in danger of being kicked in the face. I try and clamp her feet but it’s too hard because I will hurt her if I use the amount of force needed to stop the flailing legs. I don’t know weather to laugh or cry.

Eventually I get the shoes on, now the coat. 

Floppy arms, she is laughing now, shoulders dropped, jelly legs. It’s like trying to get an octopus into a baby grow.  

We have to put the dog to bed to go to nursery, so the toddler climbs into the dog create and laughs.  

Oh my god! Honestly, I am at a loss now, being angry with her makes her upset but dosen’t get more compliance. All I can do is laugh, and wait. At the car she decides to move slower then I have ever seen her move before. One handed I try to help her but she dosen’t want help, and ends up rag-dolled in the footwell of the car in front of her seat.  

‘Me fall! Me fall!’  

Well, yes, you fell...I leave her, shutting the door to keep her safely in the car while I put The Boy in his seat. Now I at least have 2 hands to help her with. She is still sat in the foot well, balled up, head in hands pretending to cry.  

‘Me crwy!’ 

I help her into the seat and strap her in. She isn’t crying. She is laughing. She has taken her coat off as requested so I can get her seatbelt on but she is sitting on it, defeating the object of taking it off in the first place. I can’t be mad at her, but it’s so frustrating. We’re late. It dosen’t ultimately matter that were late, today, but it will when I go back to work. 

I know, I know, 2-year-olds are like this, but I am loathe to call her ‘terrible,’ it’s quite funny in a way, and extremely annoying at the same time.

Children do that to you. They make you feel a weird mix of emotions that you never realised could go together all at once. Infuriating and endearing at the same time. What is that all about? 

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