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  • plusthedog

Urban Bing!

Round the corner, not far away, Bing is avoiding the drunks leaving the rehab centre today... 

Flop: Oh no Bing! I think we have run out of milk! We will have to go to the shop and get some. Can you put your shoes on please? 

Bing: Yes Flop! Me shoe! Me shoe! 

Flop: Well done Bing, let’s put your coat on while I put your brother in the buggy. Are you ready? Off we go... 

Bing: Flop! What’s that in our front garden?  

Flop: Oh Bing, that’s a can of drink. Don’t touch it Bing, there’s still some in it. I expect the person will be back for it once they come out of the rehab centre. It’s not the sort of drink Bing’s can drink though so please don’t touch. 

Bing: Yes Flop. Flop, what is that man doing by our garden gate?

Flop: He’s having a wee wee Bing. I know we tell you to wee wee in the potty but that man must have forgotten where his potty is.  He dosen’t seem to mind people seeing him wee though.

Bing: Oh no Flop! Oh No! Poo poo! 

Flop: Oh dear Bing, you almost stood in some dog poo. At least I hope it’s dog poo. Be careful Bing! 

Bing: What’s that noise Flop?  

Flop: Oh quick, look up Bing, there is the police helicopter, I know it’s 9 o’clock in the morning but they must be out looking for someone, or maybe looking for houses using too much electricity. 

Bing: Can I walk Flop? 

Flop: Of course Bing, just be careful where you tread.

Bing: Flop, why were there some people outside my bedroom window last night? 

Bing: I don’t know Bing. Were they loud? Sometimes they are waiting for their friends to bring them something. They have to wait at night because their friends are busy in the daytime. They must be good friends because they wait even in the wind and the rain and even when it is freezing. 

Bing: Flop, I heard one of them in our garden!

Flop:Yes Bing, it was a lady, you see, she can’t do a wee wee standing up, she has to jump over our wall and squat in our garden so no one can see her. Oh Bing! Here is the shop! Can you remember what we need?

Bing: Milk! 

Flop: That’s right! Let’s get some and go home. 

Bing: Flop, what are the silver things all over the floor outside? 

Flop: Oh, I think they are used to keep something inside that makes people feel special.

Bing: If I want to feel special can I have a little silver thing? 

Flop: Oh no Bing! I don’t think they are very good for Bings.

Bing: But they can’t be bad if people just leave them on the floor can they? 

Flop: Oh I think... 

Bing: Flop! Look! Look! Nee-naw! New-naw! 

Flop: Oh Yes Bing, a Police car and an Ambulance, the rehab centre needs both at once today. Let’s go home, you can watch the new-naw from our window while you are eating breakfast. What would you like? 

Bing: Porridge please Flop. 

Flop: Ok, we have milk now!  

Bing: We had runned our of milk so we went to get some. But I had to avoid the silver things, poo poo, wee wee and drinks that have not been drunked. But there was a helicopter and two new-naws and I liked that.

Flop: Yes. Avoiding getting into bother on the way to buy milk.

It’s a Bing thing! 

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